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Delete a Part of Me! (​?​)

from Partly Sunny​/​Partly Cloudy by Run-On Sunshine

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Can I delete a part of me? Sexuality feels alien inside me. Can’t match inner being that won’t be constrained by gender norms and roles that are not applicable. Yet regarding my lust, feel so typical. Fantasies and dreams always treat with respect, but afraid my desires can’t help influence how I perceive women I’m attracted to. My smile means be my friend, but am I seeking more?

Want to delete this part of me! Am I really any better than men I see, with their dance floor groping and calling obscenities. My actions and words I think match my ideals, but if there’s sex under my eyes am I for real? By having lustful thoughts, aren’t I part of the problem? Lets create a world pure, free of human objects! Spring us from this prison’s useless biology. Erase! Be gone! Leave me! Free you! Free me! Delete!

Then I close my eyes and think how sweet it can be, when a friend and me leap to intimacy. I never initiate but join conspiracy. Mostly no more than kisses; that’s enough for me. Even only one time, it’s part of our story. Makes us stronger, forms a tie we’ll have always. I’m still confused and questioning, but if I delete part of me that negates these shared memories.

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from Partly Sunny​/​Partly Cloudy, released April 19, 2014

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Run-On Sunshine Saint Petersburg, Florida

Video by Taylor Ducklow!: www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkFoZcqVfqw

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