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This is one of three "special edition," bandcamp-only songs added 17 months after I released the rest of the album. You can listen without these songs if you'd like to hear the rock opera as originally released.
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lyrics

Know before you read or listen: This song is about the darkest year I’ve had in my life. I’m thankful that I’m able to write this now and say, there are still challenges, but, I’m here, and I’m mostly pretty happy. If you choose to skip this song, the rock opera narrative will still make sense. If you yourself are struggling, please know that you are beautiful, and there are people who want to help you: 1-800-273-8255.
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Made it through another day; nights are longer anyway. There’s no home in my body, no. After school collapsed on bed; shut my eyes but not to rest. All else fails: oblivion. Maybe wake into a new form that humans will like more. How can they love what I sure don’t.

The cycle of loathing…I’m not the one who started it. At least at my grade school, not boys but some girls kind to me.

Wish there was one sense my pain, take my hand show me a way. Yet this body floats alone. Hair’s in eyes and down my back. Kids call me girl and a fag. Maybe they’re right, how should I know. Not like could dress cut like them: Instant receive acceptance. No costume hides what body shows.

I’m at it, yet again…Hit myself to force some sense. At least I control it. Not much in life can say that of.

Fifteen years has brought me here. Maybe worse in store for me. Times I plot to stop this show. Alone in house while parents shop; sift through cupboards, drawers’ contents. Never move beyond what if. Bet I’d fail then end up worse; expose my most wretched thoughts. I’d never hear the end of it.

Not home body but it’s me. Some plan must be better than to write own eviction notice.

credits

from There's No Place Like Know Where?, released June 22, 2017

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Run-On Sunshine Saint Petersburg, Florida

Video by Taylor Ducklow!: www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkFoZcqVfqw

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